i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
