He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
