FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
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Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
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TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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