where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
