you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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