took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
