I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
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At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
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We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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