Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
