if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Princesses don't give blow jobs
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
