Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
