Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
