Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
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