i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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