you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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