Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
