I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
