this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Randomize
