i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
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