I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize