So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
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As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
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well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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