in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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