I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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