How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
