worst night to have a conscience
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Randomize
