why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Randomize