I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
