Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
