my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
