i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
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She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
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He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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