I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Randomize
