can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
