Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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