What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
