Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
