worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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