I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
