Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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