Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
