i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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