yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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