What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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