Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Do you remember whose house we're in?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
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