Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
