pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
