What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Randomize
