The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
