So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
So apparently I’m into choking now
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