Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I need a burrito and a hug.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
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