Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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