I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize