literally had 100 drinks last night.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
you win again, gameday.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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