that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
