TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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