Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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