they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize