ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
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