Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
