you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
