I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
