Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
