I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.