At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.